A Father’s Influence – my story

I took a walk today. It was a perfect sunny blue-sky kind of day. As I strolled, my father was on my heart. My Daddy would have been 85 this month. He loved these kinds of fair-weather Florida days.

I could hear him say to me, “It’s a great day to be out on the water .” My parents loved sailing the waterways from the Chesapeake Bay to the Keys to the Bahamas. I greatly enjoyed hearing their sailing stories.

I learned much from my dad. He was a loving, kind, considerate man and always put others first. He served two tours in Vietnam. He was brave, courageous, and my hero. On his first tour of Vietnam, he adopted a small village and built a small schoolhouse for the children. My mom spearheaded a clothing and school supply drive—all proceeds were sent to the village.

My dad taught me compassion and empathy, not only for others but also for myself. He taught me to be a helper in the world.

The man could cook. He taught me how to make homemade pizza dough. Here’s his secret to the perfect crust, “let the dough rise; when the dough is soft like a baby’s butt, it’s ready to roll out .” It took me forever to learn that trick and get the dough just right. My dad had patience and was a great teacher.

Strength in body and mind. My dad was an entrepreneur who built custom homes. He drafted the plans to please his customers and put in the heavy labor to get the job done. He was drawing their dream home and doing what it takes to make it come true for them.

He enjoyed woodworking and crafting with his hands. He made furniture and would hand carve stair railings and fireplace mantels for his clients. He left his special touch on every home he built.

He led by example and taught me to show up and get the job done. He taught me to push thru and meet deadlines. He taught me to recognize my mistakes, forgive myself, learn from them, and get back up. He taught me to have integrity, even when no one was watching.

My dad believed in me and supported me when I desired to try something new. He rarely told me ‘no.’ The day I asked if I could go to clown school, he didn’t hesitate. My dad said I could do anything I put my mind to.

You see, he believed in me and taught me to believe in myself. I became part of a Clown Alley, and our adventures took us to nursing homes, local parades, and veterans’ hospitals. It was extremely rewarding to see the laughter and joy we brought to so many.

With my dad’s support and encouragement, I learned to take a chance and try something new, and most importantly, learning at a young age, giving our time is the greatest gift.

Time passed, the news came that my dad had cancer. I was devastated and heartbroken to be a witness to this season of his life. I kept my chin up and always tried to lift his spirits.

During this time, I was learning to be a fitness and health coach under the direction of Bill Phillips, author of Eating for Life, Body for Life and Transformation.

My dad knew how passionate I was about fitness and health and listened to me go on and on about everything I was learning. My dad was an active man. For a time in his 60’s and 70’s, he went to the gym on and off. At one point, he lost interest and never went back.

I gifted my dad a set of lightweight dumbbells. While watching TV daily, he did his bicep curls—the last video of my dad was exercising, the day before he passed.

He looked over at me and said, “whatever you do, keep doing what you’re doing, don’t stop, as I did.”I took these words to heart. My WHY is strong. If we stop taking care of our body, it will waste away. We won’t live an active, fulfilling life and help others.

Some things happen to us we have no control over. But we do have control over how we take care of our bodies. We have control of what we put in our mouths. We have control to show up daily and walk and exercise.

We must take hold and use our powers and create the right conditions for our bodies to survive. I honor my father in the gym and care for my body without ceasing. My dad was not perfect, but he was the perfect dad in my eyes.

I am grateful and proud to be his daughter. As a coach, helping others on their journey to fitness and health, I tap into my dads’ teachings.

I’m passionate and grateful to be a helper in the world, with compassion, empathy, patience, strength in body and mind while shaking the mistakes, falling, and getting back up with integrity. My journey is still evolving, and I’m learning something new every day!

Love you, Daddy.